In a world where kindness feels like an open wound because cruelty reigns and callousness is rewarded, those of us who hold on to compassion feel burnt out and overwhelmed.

I have long ago decided to stand up to injustice and risk everything for those suffering from abuse and oppression. I have affirmed that choice over and over again and I will always continue to do so.

I am a peaceful soul by nature, honest and soft-hearted. I have been forged by fire, been born into abuse and grown up through oppression, while nurturing my own curiosity about a better way to live. I always seek accomplices in those around me who suffer too, be it from the same or different causes.

I can think of nothing I'd rather spend my time and energy on than to support others through and out of abuse, oppression and related struggles.

Because I value equality, diy and mutual aid, my favourite form of emotional healing is Co-Counselling. But it doesn't work for everyone in every situation, so I coined "Pro-Counselling" because it rhymes. That's where I accompany you in your healing as a "Life Coach", which is my official job title.

I will support you to:

• gain clarity over what and who causes you suffering
• increase your agency
• stand up to abusers
• learn to spot abuse/oppression and understand their dynamics and mechanisms
• learn to trust your instinct, your gut feeling, your inner wisdom, to read vibes — however you want to call it
• integrate your reasoning with your emotional wisdom, to combine them and strengthen the basis on which you make decisions
• find strategies to survive oppression
• work towards thriving instead of just surviving
• find ways that go beyond conventional wisdom — or contradict it
• connect to yourself, your body and soul
• connect to nature and stay connected
• find out, decide and shape what and who you are and want to be and how you want to impact the world
• stay true to yourself amidst adversity
• resist fascism, genocide and ecocide in whatever way you choose

I work remotely online, in whichever form is best for you: written, voice chat or video chat. We can use simultaneous or asynchronous communication, that is we can talk together at the same time, or we can each talk and respond in our own time. I am fluent in german and english.

I will help you to the best of my abilities; if the opportunity arises and you agree, this can go beyond words. I might knit you an emotional support hat!

Contact: bellis-storm@tuta.com

Qualifications

I don't have an academic degree in psychology or related fields, nor am I interested in life coaching certifications; my expertise stems from lived experience with:

• being abused by different people and in different ways and escaping said abuses
• having escaped the cult I was born into (despite persecution and death threats) and emotionally processed what happened to me and how that system functioned
• being a patient of different forms of outpatient and inpatient psychotherapy and psychiatry
• forming bonds of mutual aid with the other patients there
• actively participating in online self help groups, forums and mailing lists all my adult life and running an in-person group for 8+ years
• being poor and finding ways to survive via both receiving and (more often) giving mutual aid
• having carried comrades through homelessness and psychotic breaks several times and helping them regain their agency and stability (housing, getting benefits sorted, finding social ties)
• sharing what little material resources (money, food, a couch to crash on) I had with whoever needed it most
• shielding others from abuse, sometimes by physically standing between their abuser and them
• being very empathetic and compassionate by nature and by choice
• transferring my skills of giving emotional labour from the abusers who demand(ed) it towards those who need it
• taking back my own agency and reclaiming my truth
• not flinching away from remembering, dealing with and processing trauma
• overcoming eating disorders, specifically restrictive eating while being considered "not thin enough" for an ED and becoming fat while recovering; defying conventional "wisdom" aka diet culture and it's mandate to "recover, but not too much"
• struggling with gendered ideas about and treatment concepts for EDs and successfully breaking the mold
• just in general, I know and chose to remember what it's like to fall through the cracks of existing support systems, at times getting abused and retraumatised by "help" – and that's why I want to be there for others who are falling through cracks
• good (autistic) pattern recognition
• being curious about almost everything
• my passion for justice
• my almost lifelong political activism in many scenes and causes (antifa, queerfeminism, climate justice, among others)
• good ability to analyse situations, soak up information and combine different pieces of information and different viewpoints
• openmindedness and willingness to see the world from someone else's perspective
• using every shitstorm of my life as compost to grow flowers of wisdom (ah, if only it were this poetic in real life!)
• using both scientific, psychological ways of understanding myself, as well as spiritual and religious worldviews. I combine these when thinking about myself
• not believing that I have all the answers already
• humility to admit mistakes
• hard won confidence that I built from nothing

Contact

bellis-storm@tuta.com

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Example Contract

Resist&Rest Lifecoaching Contract

This agreement is made between [“coach”] and [“client”] on the [date].

Principles

We mutually agree to the following principles of our work together:

• The goal is to increase the client’s agency and ability to make empowered choices in life. The client may set their own additional or more concrete goals.
• The basis for personal development and growth lies in uncovering already existing inner strengths and wisdom (insights, intuition) and bringing them together with external opportunities. Coaching is only one of hopefully many outside sources of support.
• The coach will support, validate, offer suggestions, expertise and a differing perspective, but will never take over or steer the client’s life, actions or feelings for them.
• All suggestions, advice or opinions the coach gives, including those based on expertise, are voluntary and the client decides for themselves whether they agree or not. The coach will not apply any kind of pressure.
• The coach is responsible for creating an atmoshpere of emotional safety. They do not expect loyalty or commitment to them as a person. Instead, the needs of the client are at the centre.
• The coach is responsible for keeping the structure of each session, as agreed upon beforehand, with regard to time management, materials, and other pre-requisites.
• The client can change the time, length or format of the session and the coach will attempt to accommodate them. The coach will only change or cancel sessions if it is impossible to adhere to the schedule, for example due to illness.
• The coach brings with them their expertise (knowledge and skills), as well as an openness and willingness to seek out and aquire new knowledge and skills as needed.
• If the client is confronted with problems or seeks to strive towards goals that the coach is not adequately equipped to support them in, the coach will openly admit this. The coach will offer to help the client find better suited support where appropriate.
• Coaching is not therapy, counselling or consulting.

Confidentiality

I, the coach, agree to protect the client’s information and to keep all conversations and interactions with the client confidential and private, as allowable by law.

I, the coach, will share no personal information with anyone without the express, prior and informed consent of the client. The client can withdraw such a permission at any time, without stating a reason. Exceptions are only made if there is strong reason or proof to believe that imminent, substantial harm will occur to the client or other persons.

Sliding scale fees

I, the client, hereby agree to pay…

[ ] the standard price of 150€ per hour.
[ ] a lower price of xx€ per hour as agreed upon prieviously with the coach, because I am not financially able to pay full price.
[ ] a higher price of xx€ per hour. This is a solidarity price. The coach agrees to use all additional income from this solidarity price exclusively to make lowered prices or free sessions available to those in need.

Shorter sessions cost proportionally less. The first session is free. Fees are payable within 48 hours after each session via cash, credit card, bank transfer or paypal.

Coaching package

I, the client, hereby book…

[ ] the standard coaching package of 1 hour sessions once per week
[ ] the light coaching package of 30 minute sessions once per week
[ ] the flexible coaching package of 30 minutes twice per week
[ ] a personalised coaching agreement of xx minute long sessions per xx

… for xx months.

I, the client, will communicate changes to these agreements in advance and make a new/amended contract if appropriate.

Note: If you do not wish to book a package, you may still book individual sessions, or sessions in irregular intervals. In this case, just leave the boxes above unchecked.

Modality

Sessions can take any of the following formats: In person, via videocall/videochat, via voicecall/phonecall, via email or via text messenger/text chat. (Optional: encircle which applies.) Contact details such as address or platform and handle (optional):

Signatures

Coach: _________________________ date: ______________

Client: _________________________ date: ______________